July 5, 2022 by Olga Put Family Health and Wellness 0 comments

12 Parenting Quotes That Will Make You Question Your Methods

Have you ever wished your child was born with instructions?

It’s easy to get lost in the modern parenting world. So often, we embark on the journey towards being an ideal parent while everybody around us already seems to be one.

Let me tell you something, being a parent is hard and being a perfect parent is simply impossible.

Still, it’s laudable to try to be a good parent. We owe it to our kids.

Here are 12 mind-blowing quotes about parenting that will make you question whether or not you’re doing the right thing for your kids and if there’s a better way to do it.

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12 Quotes about Parenting

Parenting is a constant struggle from the moment your child is born, and, sorry to say it—it never ends!

Even when your kid has their own kids, you never stop being a parent.

So let’s have a look at 12 quotes about parents that put me back on track whenever I feel lost.

1. “Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one.” – Glennon Doyle Melton

Glennon Doyle Melton is a bestselling American author, and she has a point in this quote that I chose as the first one.

It’s easy to get lost in pursuing ideal parenthood and forget the reason behind your search—your kid. I have a friend, and I’m sure you also have one like mine, whose social feed seems like a parenting expert. Lots of parenting quotes, pieces of advice for anybody who wants to listen, and excerpts from parenting books.

However, this person’s kids have real issues. They go through personal and family struggles and spend most of their time with nannies while their mom tries to become a better parent.

Remember, it’s not about you becoming a better parent. It’s all about your kid and trying to help them live a happy and full life.

2. “We have to prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.” – Tim Elmore

It’s easy to forget that we cannot control the whole world around our children. You can’t take care of all the circumstances and predict the situations they will find themselves in. There’s even a term coined for this type of parenting—lawnmower parents.

Do you remember the 2019 college admissions bribery scandal?

Wealthy parents bribed admissions testing officials, athletic staff, and coaches at universities to guarantee their kids’ place at elite schools. I don’t have to say how wrong it was, and it’s an excellent example of parents preparing the path for the children, not the children for the path.

Most of us don’t do such extreme things, but we’re all guilty of trying to remove all the obstacles that our kids might encounter.

Have you done your kids’ homework that seemed too complicated? Have you gone to the school to talk to the teacher about this little bully in your child’s class? Have you taken out seeds from the watermelon, peeled the apple, or cut off the bread crust?

You don’t have to answer.

But remember, it will be more beneficial if you let your kids deal with the obstacles and uncomfortable challenges themselves.

3. “Tell kids stories about your failures.” – Tim Elmore

Tim Elmore again. This leader trainer knows how important it is to teach your kid that failures are necessary for growth. It builds trust and leads to genuine relationships between parents and children. Your failure stories can motivate and inspire them when they face their own challenges later on.

Mommy, did you always behave well? Did you always have good grades?

I had often told my kids a story about when I painted my mom’s whole jewelry collection with a pink varnish to make it more beautiful and how I failed my first chemistry exam.

We always have a laugh.

I also think that these stories have eased the burden on my daughters. They know they don’t have to be perfect. This is a real investment into their future in personal life and education!

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4. “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” – Maria Montessori

Please, no matter how tempted you feel, don’t do what your kid already knows how to do.

You’re undermining their confidence.

Even an innocent “Look, I’ll show you” can have a devastating effect. Last week, I had one of my student’s moms at the office. She wanted to express concern about her child’s SEN assistant. She told me that she was doing homework with her daughter the night before, and she suddenly exploded.

“That’s why I’m not learning,” she said. “You’re like Mrs. X, doing everything for me!”

We often forget that kids need to do things to learn how to do them. Doing them for them is not helping. On the contrary, you’re sabotaging your child’s progress and growth.

Let them do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it must be theirs.

5. “We’re a nation of exhausted and overstressed adults raising overscheduled children.” – Brené Brown

What do you do in your free time? Do you have free time? Does your child have free time? Do they know the feeling of being bored?

We live a busy life, and we impose it on our kids. Suddenly it seems normal to send your three-year-old kid for extra classes to guarantee their place in the best college in town.

My older daughter’s friend is a busy child, and saying busy is an understatement. The school here finishes at 3:40 pm, but you can extend it till five if your kid stays in clubs. My daughter’s friend does. Then, she has two extracurricular activities Monday through Saturday and one on Sunday.

Plus, she does her home country’s educational curriculum.

She’s a smart and talented girl, and I know her single mom wants the best future for her, but the poor kid looks like a Zombie every morning.

Your kid does not need extracurricular activities to give them a competitive edge. Let them do other activities if they want to. But don’t overschedule their week.

Free play, a board game in the evening, or just a family stroll can bring more benefits to their future mental health.

6. “A lot of parents will do anything for their kids, except let them be themselves.” – Banksy

I don’t know if Banksy has kids himself, but I like this quote a lot. We tend to do everything for our kids, we are ready to go an extra mile every time, and we forget to ask what our child wants to do and who they want to be.

Your kid is not your personal project. So don’t expect them to fulfill your own dreams. Let them be themselves.

Yesterday I talked to a friend in China. We had a nice talk about parent-children across the sea relationships as we’re both living far from our parents. We first talked about how supportive her parents are and how she can count on them even from a distance. Then we started talking about kids and family, as for various reasons, she can’t have biological kids.

I kindly asked about adoption possibilities, and she answered that her Asian parents would never accept the kid as it wouldn’t be “their own blood.” Suddenly these supportive parents that I had pictured earlier didn’t seem so supportive anymore, and I felt my friend’s pain.

Let your kid choose the life they want. If they are still little and want to wear pink and play with Barbies, let them do it even if you’re a heavy-metal fan. Let them choose their clothes, listen to the songs they want, and put the posters they like in their room.

7. “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” – James Baldwin

Do you have an impression that your child never listens to you? Don’t worry. They don’t have to. Preach by example instead.

Scientists have already proved that kids take a “monkey see, monkey do” approach to learning and tend to “over-imitate” adults. I remember a powerful campaign run by The National Association for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (NAPCAN) that highlighted the influence of adults on children.

Whatever you do, your kid will do in the future.

You don’t say hello to your neighbors? Then don’t expect your kid to greet teachers in the corridors. Do you spend hours in front of your phone’s screen? Don’t be surprised when your kid does the same.

The rule is simple. If you don’t want your kid to do something, don’t do it yourself.

8. “Instant availability without continuous presence is probably the best role a mother can play.” – Lotte Bailyn

Being a parent means finding a balance between being there for your kids and smothering them with your presence.

Have you heard of the concept of helicopter parenting? It usually refers to overprotective parents and those who are overly involved in their kids’ lives.

These parents help their kids climb the structure on the playground and scold the bully that took their child’s toy. Although it’s not all bad to be very involved in your kid’s life, it can be harmful too.

Kids can feel suffocated and turn apathetic. They will struggle with their autonomy and independence. Being continuously present in their life prevents the development of problem-solving skills, leads to dependence, and shields kids from natural consequences.

One of the things I most loved about moving back to Europe was to let my 6- and 7-year-old daughters walk to school by themselves.

They don’t know I stay back, looking from a distance, ready to assist if they need me. But I let them proudly cross the streets by themselves and disappear around the corner, gaining the confidence they will always need.

9. “So often, children are punished for being human. They are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes. Yet, we adults have them all the time. None of us are perfect. We must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves.” – Rebecca Eanes

Have you ever asked your kids to stop fighting immediately? Have you been nagging about your kid’s grumpy faces and bad attitude?

Now think, when was the last time you spent a day cheerful and spreading only love to everybody around?

My daughters love each other, and they still fight quite often. I realized that I had never allowed them to exercise their fighting skills. I was always trying to nip it in the bud. I also never let them be in a bad mood, and I want them always to put on a happy face for family time.

Then I realized I was wrong.

If I allow myself to be grumpy, why not let my kids do it? If I disagree with my husband on many things, why don’t I let my kids disagree on anything?

Now I try to hold the reins on myself when I hear them fight or see them have a bad attitude. So I try hard not to address it at the moment, and I come back to it during bedtime.

I ask them about the reasons and what happened, and we try to analyze it together. I try to show them that everybody has a right to be in a bad mood and that only they can change that.

But I also try to teach them to respect people around them and never let their own emotions harm others.

10. “If I had to make a general rule for living and working with children, it might be this: Be wary of saying or doing anything to a child that you would not do to another adult, whose good opinion and affection you valued.” – John Holt

We all do it.

We think that because kids are kids, we can treat them differently from adults.

Of course, they need more protection and guidance.

I’m talking here about behavioral things like talking down, shouting at them, forcing them to do what you think they should do, and imposing your will at all times. I’m guilty myself.

Sometimes when my kids ask me for an explanation for why they have to do something right now or the way I want them, I will answer: don’t ask, just do it.

I would never say something like this to my colleagues!

This was when I realized that I needed to respect my kids more and treat them the way they deserve. Learning such a thing is a huge step. It’s easier to take action and change your behavior when you’re aware that what you’re doing is wrong.

What I try to do now is always give my kids an explanation when they ask for one.

Hand-picked for you: 14 Genius Ways To Be a Calmer Parent

11. “There is no such thing as being the perfect parent. So just be a real one.” – Sue Atkins

This quote is not a surprise. Everybody knows that perfect parents don’t exist, but many of us still try to be one. Don’t!

Being a real parent is the way.

Your parenting style is undoubtedly unique. You’re a combination of your personal experience, upbringing, and culture. Just be the best version of yourself, respect your kids, respect yourself, and enjoy their childhood and your parenting.

12. “The thing about parenting rules is there aren’t any. That’s what makes it so difficult.” – Ewan McGregor

This parenting quote goes well with number 11. Parenting is a freestyle sport. No rules for you. No instructions for your kids. For every expert piece of advice, you might find another saying the opposite.

When I asked my mom for some essential parenting tips, she wisely said, “You’ll learn them yourself.” And that’s true.

There are no stone-written rules. It’s all common sense, love, care, and safe boundaries.

Teach your kids how to be strong and independent, and prepare them to face challenges. Then, if you understand the principles, you’re free to do it the way it works for you and your kid.

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Choose Your Favorite Quotes and Reflect

These quotes about parenting aren’t rules but opportunities for reflection and to inspire yourself to question your methods.

Choose your favorite inspirational quotes, print them, and hang them in a visible place! And remember: what counts the most is your love and availability.

My favorite takeaways from the quotes above are:

Help your kids, but not too much.
Prepare them for the world, not the world for them.
Let them fail and make mistakes
Don’t be afraid to share your mistakes with your children.
Treat your children with respect and give them independence.
Be yourself.

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Olga Put

Freelance Writer at Homeschool Spanish Academy

I'm a Spanish philologist, teacher, and freelance writer with a Master's degree in Humanities from Madrid. I speak Polish, Spanish, and English fluently, and want to get better in Portuguese and German. A lover of literature, and Mexican spicy cuisine, I've lived in Poland, Spain, and Mexico and I'm currently living and teaching in Madeira, Portugal.